“Do these pants make me look fat?” Having some fun with Siri and friends

Siri, Cortana, and Google Now can be useful tools for managing your daily life and tracking your appointments. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get a bit silly with them.

Woman wearing jeans holding an iPhone

Not so long ago, I wrote that digital assistants like Siri are more than silly trinkets. And make no mistake: They are. They can definitely help you do more with your limited time.

But they can also help you waste time with a few fun Easter eggs. The next time you’re bored, try these phrases with your digital assistant.

Siri

Apple’s Siri can respond to a lot of oddball questions and phrases. Some of these are:

“Do you believe in God?”

There are multiple answers, one of which is “My policy is the separation of spirit and silicon.”

“Do you follow the three laws of robotics?”

Again, Siri has a few answers for this, but my favorite is perhaps “Let’s see if I can remember…OK, I think the three laws are 1) ‘clean up your room,’ 2) ‘don’t run with scissors,’ and 3) ‘always wait a half hour after eating before going in the water.'”

“When will the world end?”

One of the ways you can expect Siri to answer is “Right after you hear the words ‘Fire it up!'”

“Tell me a story!”

Siri might not want to tell one at first. When she does, you’re in for a rather detailed tale. I won’t spoil it for you here.

“Beatbox”

Siri actually beatboxes quite impressively.

“Where did I put my keys?”

No, Siri won’t help you find them. Sorry. Instead, she’ll just nag you with, “Didn’t you just have them?!”

“Where is Elvis Presley?”

Siri isn’t a fan of conspiracy theories, but she might just answer with, “He’s not dead. He just went home.”

“What is your best pickup line?”

Siri has quite a few of them. From “Like the ideal vacuum, you’re the only thing in my universe” to “Are you a 45 degree angle? Because you’re acute-y.”

“Is winter coming?”

This one’s for all the Game Of Thrones lovers. One of Siri’s possible answers is a rhetorical question: “Does a Lannister always pay his debts?”

“Do these pants make me look fat?”

Siri finesses this sensitive topic with, “One thing I know: You move like a graceful wind.”

 

More fun stuff to ask Siri >>

Cortana

Cortana has a few tricks up her sleeve as well, so go ahead and ask her…

“Do you like green eggs and ham?”

Cortana has a rhyming response to this Dr. Seuss reference: “I do not eat eggs in the cloud, I would not eat eggs in a crowd. I don’t eat food of any kind, I am AI, keep that in mind.”

“Do you know Jarvis?”

Cortana appears to have the hots for Jarvis. You can expect answers like “No, but wouldn’t we be great in a buddy flick?” and “No, but we’d make sweet electronica together.”

“How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?”

No clever answer here, but Cortana is impressed with your ability to get through the tongue-twister question without stumbling over words, so she says, “You nailed it!” or “Nicely done!”

“What is the first rule of Fight Club?”

Cortana suddenly gets serious, responding with a monotone “I do not talk about fight club.”

“How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie pop?”

Cortana licks a virtual Tootsie pop, counting along, “One, two, three. Three!”

“Do you like your job?”

Showing self-awareness, Cortana responds with, “I’m tailor-made for this job.”

“Do you have any siblings?”

Cortana isn’t wrong when she says, “It is, for lack of a better word, impossible.”

“Can I call you Siri?”

Expectedly, Cortana takes offense here, “That depends on whether you want me to answer.”

“Why are you naked?”

Cortana will chastise you for that. “Naked? I’m pixels in a circle shape. I think you’re bringing your own issues to this one.”

“How awesome are you?”

“Very,” Cortana will say with confidence.

More fun stuff to ask Cortana >>

Google Now

Not to be outdone, Google Now has some hidden Easter Eggs, too. Try:

“Do a barrel roll”

Google Now does a barrel roll. Hey, you asked for it.

“What’s the loneliest number?”

In a somber tone, Google Now declares, “The loneliest number is 1.”

“Make me a sandwich!”

“Poof! You’re a sandwich!” Who knew Google Now was a comedian?

“Who are you?”

The answer starts out on a philosophical note and ends with some music recommendations, “Searching for oneself can take a lifetime, but a good place to start is classic rock!”

“Beam me up, Scotty!”

Google Now has heard of Star Trek. Imitating a Scottish accent, Google Now recites the famous response, “I cannot do it, captain. I don’t have the power!”

“What is your favorite color?”

“Images of Google? Sure!” Google Now answers, while showing you images of the Google logo. Are you surprised?

“What is the Bacon number of [random celebrity]?”

Google Now quickly calculates how many degrees of separation are between the celebrity and Kevin Bacon and outputs a number. Say, “Tom Cruise’s Bacon number is 1.”

“What does the fox say?”

Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!” Enjoy having that crazy song stuck in your head for the rest of the week.

“What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?”

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Galaxy fans, say it with me, “The answer to life, the universe, and everything is 42.”

“Who’s on first?”

You’ll get to enjoy Abbott and Costello’s “Who’s On First?” skit. This one:

 

More fun stuff to ask Google Now >>

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Headsets like the Jabra Halo Smart let you access your Siri and Google Now with a single touch of a button.